April 17, 2014 by Arumsari Veldman
Too early to wake up…
I’m just awake.
My eyes is almost fresh but my body still want to stay on bed, behind blanket. Something wishpered me to to open laptop and write something about my feeling in English. It’s a bit hard for grammar here. But I’m trying do the best to improve my English, include with writing with English constantly.
My coriousity about English is getting higher and higher. I’m always open English site and learn about new vocabularies every single day-single morning specificaly. But no with my “final” report in bachelor level. My brain just stuck on one sentence on somewhere page. I’m always sucks with deadline. I always feel something bad about pressure of doing something. The things that I want is I’m working with my heart. My peace and happy heart.
But the quesstion is… Do I feel it right now? yes! But why am I not doing it right now? I don’t know…
I call it disease, “final report syndrom”. When pressure is everywhere, from your parents, your friends, your teachers, it’s kind of something that make me so down. It is weird because mostly people make it as a motivation of their life. But for me? unfortunately, it’s not. Too much pressure in past decade. Makes me insusceptible for something we called it “pressure”. But insusceptible with other ways.. I think it’s negative ways. Usually I did something peaceful, just realxation in my room and thinking about happines – I sit with yoga position – and close my eyes, but mostly I direct to sleep after that. And guess.. my report is never done.
I lost my soul. Since I was in elementary school, I was always became a leader because my optimism and all traits that you can find in A bloodtype – organized minded, idealism, think about future, and act perfect – But now, I feel that all what I had is gone… why? I dunno why maybe too much pressure and deadline so I can not manage it well lately. If I do these habbits continuesly, I know I will never become a success woman in future. As long as I know about “World of Work” is full with pressure and stressness (am I right, folks?)
Yes, I think it’s good that I realized everything now. It’s time for me to re-arrange something from the beginning before I runined my life with something mental dissorder like this since couple months/years ago. Half part of my soul and body already gave me encouragement to get out from my bed and blanket and of course to go to my work desk to do my final report. Wish me luck, folks!